Up a Tree House

This Saturday I built a club house. Okay, so I didn’t build a clubhouse as much as I oversaw it being built by people much more qualified. I’m not going to claim carpentry skills, even though as a single homeowner I’ve picked up some pretty cool skills in the last year. Using a saw and a level aren’t among those skills.

My son wanted a club house though. His idea for his new clubhouse was for me to buy a bunch of wood and for him to build it. Umm, no. I could come up with so many reasons to not go that route. All of those reasons in some way or another involving my son attempting to operate tools and ending up with less appendages.

So I bought a clubhouse kit. Trouble with the kit was that Andrew wanted a proper tree house off the ground. (Did I mention I don’t actually have a tree for it to go in like a proper tree house?)  My mother, who was co-builder, talked me into going six feet off the ground because of my son being so tall. Six feet off the ground looks like a tall building now that I’m looking at it from the ground. I can vividly imagine my accident-prone daughter rolling off its front porch. Hopefully, that’s just my overactive imagination.

The clubhouse kit came with a pretty interesting set of directions. My mom and I took turns reading the directions out to the volunteer builders. The directions were sparse to say the least. Whoever wrote those directions needed help. Obviously, they have never built the tree house or they would be much more specific in the steps. There was a clear moment in the process where I experienced all the frustrations of not being listened to by the one that I was calling out directions for. There may have been a little bit of yelling involved. But maybe, I can claim to be a better listener after the process.

The real issue with the directions was that it said it would take about thirty minutes to build. Right. Maybe if we had a crew of professional carpenters and better directions. We started at ten in the morning and finished at 5:30 in the afternoon, not counting the work done on the platform several days before. I’d like to see anyone figure those directions out and build it in thirty minutes.

It is built though except for a method to reach the tree house among the clouds (Yes, that is an exaggeration, I suppose). My son wants a rope ladder. I can see kids tumbling out the front entry, grabbing at a rope ladder. My mom has this fanciful scheme for some grand staircase. I wanted a tree house in my back yard, not a second house. I have only a few days to figure out a solution though because the children return soon, and I can see Andrew figuring out his own way to raise himself into the tree house. I don’t see that going well.