Experience #23 Finding a Picture that doesn't Evoke the Delete Button

There’s something to be said about feeling beautiful. When I imagine beauty, I recall the glossy pictures of the fashion magazines that I’d comb through as a teenager, hoping that their secrets would be hidden somewhere in the beautiful and flawless faces.

All vanity aside, feeling beautiful doesn’t really happen often. Most of the time we judge ourselves in comparison to our ideal beauty standards and usually we fail miserably. I know I will never match the models I used to know by name and all their vital statistics.

I hate photographs of myself. I view them with a critical eye and see fault in each one. I’ve deleted more pictures of myself than I’ve ever saved. I joke that if I take one hundred pictures, I might get lucky and like one, maybe.

When I decided to take pictures for my website and book cover, I knew that I wasn’t going to be taking them myself for they’d never survive my harsh opinion. So I enlisted the help of Paula who is beginning what I’d call a long, prosperous career in photography. Even after seeing her beautiful pictures, I was still leery. It would still be me in front of the camera.

We chose typical Louisiana settings for the photos because my book is set in a fictional South Louisiana town. The locations were places I knew and had visited before. I thought this might bring comfort to an anxiety filled experience. Paula clicked away as I wondered what I was supposed to do with her lens pointed at me. I trusted that she knew what she was doing, because I didn’t.

In the end, the pictures came out amazing. It fascinates me how a photographer sees something through the lens that the normal critical eye will miss. I suppose she sees the world through her own special lens in the same way I see a story- in a way only I can see it.

This experience puts me one step closer to publishing my book, which was the whole goal of this experience- to lead me closer to what I’ve always wanted since I wrote my first story in sixth grade. She even snapped a picture that I’m going to use for the cover.

Do check out Paula’s website. She does wonders with a camera. Everyone should feel beautiful at some point in life and a photograph can make it possible to remember that moment.

Paula’s website: www.infocusforalloccassions.com