Experience #23 Finding a Picture that doesn't Evoke the Delete Button

There’s something to be said about feeling beautiful. When I imagine beauty, I recall the glossy pictures of the fashion magazines that I’d comb through as a teenager, hoping that their secrets would be hidden somewhere in the beautiful and flawless faces.

All vanity aside, feeling beautiful doesn’t really happen often. Most of the time we judge ourselves in comparison to our ideal beauty standards and usually we fail miserably. I know I will never match the models I used to know by name and all their vital statistics.

I hate photographs of myself. I view them with a critical eye and see fault in each one. I’ve deleted more pictures of myself than I’ve ever saved. I joke that if I take one hundred pictures, I might get lucky and like one, maybe.

When I decided to take pictures for my website and book cover, I knew that I wasn’t going to be taking them myself for they’d never survive my harsh opinion. So I enlisted the help of Paula who is beginning what I’d call a long, prosperous career in photography. Even after seeing her beautiful pictures, I was still leery. It would still be me in front of the camera.

We chose typical Louisiana settings for the photos because my book is set in a fictional South Louisiana town. The locations were places I knew and had visited before. I thought this might bring comfort to an anxiety filled experience. Paula clicked away as I wondered what I was supposed to do with her lens pointed at me. I trusted that she knew what she was doing, because I didn’t.

In the end, the pictures came out amazing. It fascinates me how a photographer sees something through the lens that the normal critical eye will miss. I suppose she sees the world through her own special lens in the same way I see a story- in a way only I can see it.

This experience puts me one step closer to publishing my book, which was the whole goal of this experience- to lead me closer to what I’ve always wanted since I wrote my first story in sixth grade. She even snapped a picture that I’m going to use for the cover.

Do check out Paula’s website. She does wonders with a camera. Everyone should feel beautiful at some point in life and a photograph can make it possible to remember that moment.

Paula’s website: www.infocusforalloccassions.com

Birthday Wishes

Saturday night I had the perfect moment under the stars. Sitting around a bonfire with my daughter laying across my lap, I managed to feel how insignificant all my latest worries really are compared to the vastness of the dark. Not a small feat considering that I could make worrying a sport. As she and I gazed up at the stars with her tiny voice telling me to look at how beautiful they were, I released a deep breath into the open sky and decided that it was okay that yet again I didn’t have all of the answers.

This perfect moment came at the end of a horrible week where the tension had been building slowly each day. I’d had a terrible birthday. Not that birthdays are typically all that great. Who wants to celebrate getting older after 21? I have the added bonus of teaching teenagers who believe anything over twenty is old. They certainly have a way to make a person feel ancient even at my age.

Normally, I don’t think much about aging. I’m sure there will be a number I reach that it will begin to bother me, but it hasn’t happened yet, so I’m not going to dwell on it and create a problem before it arises.

What does bother me is the sense of failure that comes as each birthday ticks by. The sense that I haven’t achieved all that I wish to achieve hits home every birthday. And this year was no different.

Before sitting out under the stars Saturday night, I was feeling lost once again. A feeling I thought I’d left behind after I’d made first one decision than another to take in the direction I believed I needed to go.

That was until this birthday week hit. Added to the normal failure I experience at this time of the year, my final divorce papers had arrived by mail Saturday morning. The sense of failure had enveloped me in a dark cloud, and I began to question once again what I was doing.

I’d made all these decisions to get to this place in my life where I felt I should be, but nothing ever went exactly as planned. Had I simply made more of a mess of things?

Some of the frustration and disappointment is impatience, but some of it is that I still have so much to learn. One of those lessons I still struggle with is to live in the moment and know with certainty that everything will work out as it was meant to. I’m still working on Faith. I’d say It’s more like a math problem that every time I work it out, I get a different answer. I’m still trying to find the correct answer.

The 33 experiences were supposed to help with that, and it has some. But now it has become a race to finish them before the end of the year. I intended the experiences to be about learning to live in the moment. But those moments come like my moment under the stars, surrounded by the family who are always there me.

Apparently, my life is a work in progress and not for those who scare easily. I do believe that it will be a great ride, and hopefully, one I don’t have to enjoy alone forever. It makes me appreciate those who are there for me even more though.

Experience #22 The Myrtles

Though I refuse to watch horror movies, I love a good ghost story. How’s that for contradictions. I’ve wanted to go to the Myrtles Plantation ever since a student brought in a picture of him and his sister with ghosts standing near them in the background. Unlike most people, I wanted to see a ghost.

So this experience wasn’t difficult to add to my list, but it is one of those things that you always say you want to do, but it’s easy to put off. Unless you have this handy list you’re making your way through.

I arrived at the Myrtles in time to check in and have dinner at The Carriage House. The Carriage House is a restaurant located on the grounds of the Myrtles. It’ a very nice place, and I’d recommend the Feliciana Eggplant Stacker. It was two breaded and fried slices of eggplant with stuffed crab between them and shrimp etouffee sauce poured over the top. It was delicious.

After dinner, we visited the gift shop before our mystery tour began. The mystery tour runs only on Friday and Saturday night, and our 8:30 tour was packed with 47 people. The mystery tour involves a little history mixed in with the tales of the hauntings that tour guides and guests have experienced.

During this tour, I learned that William Winters, whose room we would be occupying that night, had been shot outside the house and had managed to make it to the seventeenth step before dying in his wife’s arms. On the positive side, no one has really reported any haunting incidents in our room. By this time in the tour, I wasn’t so sure I wanted to wake up to a ghost in my room. See one, yes, but not one staring at me while I slept.

After our tour, we explored the grounds in the dark. Contrary to when we drove up and the grounds were warmed by the sun and appeared serene and majestic, the dark created shadows and eeriness. It was easier to believe at night that ghosts haunted the house and grounds.

We spoke to several other guests sitting out in rockers. They’d stayed once before and had rented the entire house. Two men had showed up in the middle of the night with ghost hunting equipment, and they’d let them in to test their rooms. The stairs where William Winters had died had registered as well as the bed in a room that has been nicknamed the doll’s room after a doll that makes her way around the house, on her own.

I didn’t wake up to the party sounds at three in the morning that we were told to listen for. I was so tired from working all week that I ended up sleeping straight through the night. I didn’t even wake up for the normal creaks and noises of a house over two hundred years old.

So I still didn’t get to see a ghost. I do think that some people tend to scare themselves more than any ghosts can do. I’m content with not being scared with the whole experience.

The next morning we did the historical tour which runs during the day. I’d definitely recommend that tour. We also walked around the grounds in the daylight where things didn’t feel creepy. It was definitely an experience I’ll remember.

The William Winter's room where we stayed.

My blog was awarded the Versatile Blogger Award on October 9, 2011 by My Life, One Story at a Time. Thank you Donna. Her blog can be found at http://mylife-in-stories.blogspot.com/ She's a great friend. I do hope you stop by to visit to read about her "Lucy" adventures.

So, in receiving this award, I was given two things to do.
1) admit seven random things about myself, and 2) nominate five other versatile bloggers for this award.

I found neither very easy to do, but here goes.
1. I love reading horoscopes… sometimes just to see if they will be wrong that day.


2. I have an obsession with lipstick. At one time I had forty different shades. I’ve downgraded since due to lack of space.

3. If you want to know what mood I’m in, pay attention to what song or songs I listen to over and over. Right now Adele plays in my ipod on a continuous basis.

4. I visited a physic this year as the beginning of my list of 33 experiences for 2011. I’m still recovering.

5. I bought my first home as a single woman, and though there were comments all along the process about doing it on my own, I wouldn’t have done it any other way. I’ve completely redone the inside in terms of décor. This was an item on my list of life, not just the 33 experiences of the year.

6. I’m publishing my first book, Muddy Bayou, this year. I’ve decided to do it like everything else this year, and just take charge of the project and do it myself.

7. I love the paranormal. From Charmed, to Buffy the Vampire Slayer, to Harry Potter, I tend to enjoy the unbelievable.


These are the five blogs I finally decided upon. The process was extremely long and difficult.


http://alicepyne.blogspot.com/ Alice is a teenager with terminal cancer. She is an inspiration.

http://tere-tere.blogspot.com/ I love Tere’s funny take on everything.

http://letsmosey.wordpress.com/ Lee is someone else with a list for the year.

http://www.ahthepossibilities.com/ I love to read Sarah’s blog for her positive take on life.

http://www.karilife.com Kari writes a little bit about everything.

Experience #21 The Experience that Wasn't

I’ve always wanted to go rock wall climbing. I’d pass in front of the walls at amusement parks and wonder if I would be able to make it to the top. Of course, I never tried because I didn’t want anyone laughing if I couldn’t make it two feet off the ground. That, of course, made it the perfect item to add to my list for the year.

I decided to take the kids to Slidell Rocks, a rock climbing gym, this weekend. I’d mentioned this experience to the children, and Cara insisted that she wanted to do this one with me. Her brother, on the other hand, insisted that it was something that he only wanted to watch. I couldn’t convince anyone else to come with us, so unfortunately the experience ended up being a kids only experience. Each climber needs a spotter, and I did not have one of those.


Cara on one of her five trips to the top.





  Being the spotter for my children was an experience in itself though. Cara took to it like everything else she attempts. She pushed herself until she made it to the top, and she now proudly brags to everyone that she made it to the top five times. Andrew did it as he does everything… hesitantly. We were in the gym nearly an hour before he’d try a harness line climb, and the only way to get him above the yellow line (the line you have to wear a harness above) was to bribe him with ice cream. He never made it to the top, a fact his sister has reminded him of in visual graph form, but I’m proud of him for even trying with his intense fear of heights.


Andrew about to reach the yellow line
that he will only push his head right over.



They have both decided they want to return to the gym, so we are planning a second visit. This next time though I want to be a climber as well as the spotter. So I’ve decided I need to look early for that person who thinks they can keep up with this list as I hurry to the finish line. The qualifications are simple. 1) Positive support 2) No laughing, even if I only get two feet in the air 3) No backing out.

I also have a few other things on my list for the year that we can talk about. Leave a message if you’re interested.

Andrew hanging upside down like Spiderman.



Cara not wanting to be outdone by big brother.

Experience #20 Dinner Experiment

When throwing a dinner party, one should probably experiment with the recipes before the night of the party. One should also remember that you don’t need to have the wine because guests usually bring wine to the party. And of course, dinner party will be successful with all that wine flowing anyway, so it turns out, one may not need to worry about the food all that much.

This weekend I hosted my first ever couple’s dinner party. I always imagined having good friends who’d show up and have a good time over my extravagantly set table that utilizes all my dishes. It seems I’ve finally reached that point.

I’ve had many parties before. When it comes to the cooking though, I wouldn’t advise anyone to try my method. It requires more luck than skill, and luckily that seems to be what I have. I choose random recipes on the internet that sound appealing to me, but then when I don’t like the ingredients, I don’t add them. I do improvise and add in whatever I think I’d like though.

I ended up serving my guests seafood fondue as an appetizer. It was my favorite dish of the night, and the recipe did have a fair amount of tweaking involved. I also served Jack Daniels chicken, pineapple rice, salad, and dinner rolls. I couldn’t find a recipe for the pineapple rice that I liked, so I just made the whole thing up.

Luckily, no one got hurt (i.e. food poisoning) in the process.

Each couple arrived with a bottle of wine, and we opened three bottles for the seven guests. The conversation flowed as freely as the wine, and everyone had a great time. It was a unique blend of friends. People from all different backgrounds and different points in their lives laughing and conversating. This variety is what makes my life so rich. I do not have to search far for someone to have a similar experience I can draw from or for someone to seek out my advice on my own experiences.

I truly have the greatest friends. (And it doesn’t hurt that they’ll eat my food experiments and tell me they are delicious.)

After doing all those dishes from my table where I’d spared no dish, I did regret not having a dish washer, but I’m already looking forward to hosting another dinner party. Dishes be damned.



My version of Cheesy Shrimp Fondue

1 can tiny shrimp- drained
1 can crab meat (or the real Southern version I was lucky enough to have a brother-in-law peeled
2 packages cream cheese
1 can condensed cream of shrimp soup
1 cup sour cream (I put half of the large container- I didn’t feel like measuring)
½ tsp. salt ( I also added a bit of pepper here)
1/8 tsp. garlic powder
Dash (or several... Who am I kidding? Everyone knows I like hot stuff) of hot sauce
½ tsp. of Worcestershire sauce
A bit of Louisiana seasoning

Combine cream cheese, sour cream, and can of shrimp soup; warm. Add all the seasonings. Heat over low heat until smooth; stir occasionally. Add shrimp and crab; heat thoroughly. Serve with Tostitos.