Experience #10: The Vagina Monologues (A last minute addition)

Saturday night I attended The Vagina Monologues at Nicholls State University with my good friend Donna. I’d heard about them years ago, and I knew it was the perfect addition to my list of new experiences. (I find myself adding to this list constantly as new experiences come my way).

The play is not for anyone uncomfortable with vulgar language. At the beginning of the play, they warn the audience that some of the material may be offensive to some. I’m not easily offended. I’d like to believe I’m very open-minded. My family who listened to me tell them about it with raised eye brows today are somewhat wishing that I would be a little more close-minded these days. I will admit to being uncomfortable at times. I mean it’s not every day that you see a group of women demonstrate the different “moans” a woman makes during sex on stage, but most of my squirming came because I kept flashing back to a recent conversation with my daughter.

Just a few weeks ago, she was in the bath tub and began asking questions about her girl parts. (On a side note, she seems to always ask the hard to answer questions in the tub. She may have to start taking a shower.)

She asked me what the name of her girl parts were. In all her five-year-old superiority she told me that she knows it’s not her booty like we’ve been referring to that region.

I, the mother who did not blink to inform her son at three when he asked about his boy parts that he had a penis, just stared at her in that moment unable to say the word vagina. So I told her that she had girl parts and quickly changed the subject by making up a story with her favorite characters.

Quick save, but why couldn’t I say it? My mother and I have never once had a conversation about “girl parts” or sex. Even now, very distant from my teens, I still don’t mention the word sex in front of my mom. I have no past experience to draw from, but I told myself that I was brave enough to have that discussion with my daughter when the time came. Especially since I teach teenagers and understand that they experiment with sex with or without the communication.

So there I was watching brave college students demonstrate what an orgasm sounds like and explain what a vagina looks like, and what it would say if it could talk, and how it would dress if it dressed up, and I had never brought myself to say the words they used for vagina out loud. The words sound strange in my mouth, uncomfortable and awkward.

But for a moment, after listening to them I felt empowered enough to use the words, and you know what? They didn’t sound so strange after hearing them spoken aloud so many times. Donna and I laughed and repeated parts of the dialogue all the way home, nearly in tears as we laughed so hard. At one point, I told her I never thought I’d hear those words from her mouth, and probably never would have if we hadn’t watched the play together.

For one of my dream jobs, I’ve always wanted to write about oppressed women and make them feel empowered by telling their stories. I would have loved to travel the world and bring about social change. Yet, I couldn’t even say the word vagina to my daughter.

Maybe I just need to start with empowering myself, and in turn my daughter. So the next time my daughter asks, I will be ready. The Vagina Monologues provided a list of synonyms, but hey, I think I can start with the word Vagina. See it doesn’t sound strange at all to me anymore.

To read more, see http://mylife-in-stories.blogspot.com/2011/04/whispering-vagina-monologues.html#links