“Time passes so slowly
if you are unaware of it and so quickly if you are aware of it.” Marc Bolan
Time flies. Isn’t that the cliché that everyone uses. Of
course clichés usually become so because of the truth within them. Recently I
found myself explaining to someone that my life could be divided into segments.
The segments were long and consistent for thirty-three years, but then I was
thirty-three and everything changed. That’s when I made a decision with my life
that many didn’t agree with nor understand, and the segments of my life became
short, choppy, and I’m acutly aware of how quickly time has passed since.
Seven years ago I found myself divorced and uncertain of who
I was when I could no longer define myself as a wife. I knew I needed something
in that first year, so I created the idea of thirty three experiences in my
thirty third year. That year, this segment, served as a reminder of who I was
and in some instances, who I wasn’t. From a psychic to rock climbing, I tried
whatever I’d put off to another day because of time, because of fear, because
my ex-husband didn’t approve. I don’t regret any of it.
I haven’t had a year like it before or since, and it has sparked
an adventurous side to my personality that I’d forgotten existed. It also gave
me the idea of a yearly bucket list that I could continue to experience all
life had to offer.
But the year ended, and the next one followed and with each
year of my life circumstances began to change and the segments varied greatly
from single to dating to married. In today’s segment, the experiences I have
are picking my boys up from the gym every day, driving my daughter to dancing
multiple times a week, and the occasional watching a child’s performance at an
athletic event. If I’m lucky, there’s school drama, friend drama, and homework
questions. There’s loud talking and play fighting; Messy rooms and parties to
attend. All things that I know that the days are numbered on because the
children have all become teenagers. I’m always surprised when they gather
around me in the living room to talk, and I hope they never reach that age
where these moments stop. But I know that this segment of life will be over as
quickly as others.
It is like Jean Paul said: “The more sand that has escaped
from the hourglass of our life, the clearer we should see through it.” What I
see now is that I want my children to learn to live the way I have come to live—with
an adventurous spirit and a drive to not just exist. As I’ve tried to fit this
in between school open houses and school dances, I’ve realized that there are different kinds
of experiences. Some that can be planned and some you have to allow to happen.
Both are equally valuable in what they offer, but I’m still a proponent of
seeking out experiences as a way to live my life. I figure with a significant
birthday coming up, it’s time I begin making plans. When I was 33, it was
because I needed to find myself among all that I’d lost. Now as I turn 40, it
is to not lose myself in the day to day. So I’m building a list and looking for
suggestions as the idea of 40 experiences at 40 sounds more insurmountable than
when I was thirty three. So what experiences would you put on a list?